He Walks And A Few Other Things

 As much as I have dreaded this day, I am actually happy to announce that Hagen walks.  He has been toddling around for a few weeks now and it is the most adorable thing in the world. He is fairly wobbly still but can cruise all around.  He is so proud of himself too and just giggles all the time.  I find just a touch more joy in his developmental milestones than I did with the other kids, I feel like he is more "normal" all the time. However I have been a bit worried about his speech.  With visual impairments, speech is one thing that usually is delayed because they can't see your mouth movements clearly enough to copy them.  The poor kid, we get right in his face to talk to him and make sounds. He will sometimes mimmick a sound but not as much as I think he should be.  The other day I voiced my concerns on this to Weston, and he said, "What are you talking about, he is just fine, he speaks fluent Russian for crying out loud." I laughed, because honestly the noises he makes sound more like Russian than English.  I may be a little paranoid, but we will definitely be working a lot on his speech in the next little while.

 We have been enjoying lots of sunshine the last few days and we take full advantage of it.  Hagen LOVES to be outside and spends a lot of time on the fenced in deck where he can watch the kids play.  (And Yes I have been remembering to liberally apply the sunscreen!)

 

Cole's imagination has been a work once again.  Grandma Crapo gave him the most wonderful gift, a cardboard box! He was so excited and spent hours building himself a pony cart.  He even hitched up his stuffed horses and sat in that thing all day.  When just sitting there started getting boring he used the scraps of cardboard to make a spear, sword and knife. I love how he can entertain himself for hours with the simplest of things.

 

One last thing, I just have to say that we have the best neighbors in the world! Seriously I know that is true because my baby prefers Jaylynn and Jalyssa over me ALL the time.  Hagen had gotten shots a few weeks ago and was super grumpy and fevered. I had tried a million things to comfort this boy and Jalyssa walked in the door and he held his arms out for her and was instantly happier.  I am so grateful to have a bunch of kids that are willing and able to babysit or help me out with lots of other stuff any time I need.

Relief... I am not the only overprotective, anxiety filled lunatic!

I have a good friend who I have never actually met. We bumped into each other a few months back in the blogging world while she was searching for information on the rare condition of Ocular Albinism that our infant son's share.  I have found myself slightly obsessed with her blog and the things she writes about.  While her life and world are in stark contrast to mine, some of the deep thoughts and feelings of her heart match mine exactly.  Maybe all of us as mothers have these same thoughts and feelings, but I have always felt so individual in them until now.  In this post Melissa was obviously reading my mind because she explained in such great words how I feel as a mother. 

I hate leaving my kids with a babysitter, even relatives.  Not because they don't love them and take great care of them, because they truly do, but because I am crazy. I would rather wrestle three kids at the grocery store or doctor's office then leave them home. What if there were an accident while I was away? Would I ever forgive the care taker?   The thought of someone else driving with my children in the car sends me into a frantic anxiety fit.  I continually have nightmares of tragic accidents occurring and if someone coughs I am sure they are choking to death. I check on my kids in their beds multiple times in the night. Friends and family talk of going on fun vacations and leaving their kids home and while I don't judge them for this I actually envy them, the idea of leaving the kids for a week let alone a night sounds painfully sleepless. If Weston ever brings up the idea of going someone for one reason or another and leaving the kids for a night, I find myself searching for reasons why we can't go. I am ridiculous I realize, but until now I honestly thought I was the only person that had these thoughts and strange behaviors.

So as I take on another day and "swallow that familiar anxiety lump in my throat" I am grateful to Melissa whom I have never met for making me realize that maybe I am not such a wierdo after all.  Life happens, and while we do the best we can to protect our babies, we can't always control life.

Maybe a little Impulsive

 I have been wanting a change for quite some time now, the change I really wanted was to drop 20 pounds but since my will power is a little lacking I settled for a much easier change. Or is it easier? After a lifetime of long locks I let my hairdressers "assistant", talk me into a major butch. She had recently chopped her hair and was gushing over how much she loved it, how it only took a few minutes to dry and style and how I too would love shorter hair. After an hour, literally, she had me convinced.  Now I realize this tacky self portrait does not reveal the true state of this cut, it does give you an idea.  I actually really like the front of it, the back however is a whole different story.  As far as easy, not so much! I did have it dried within a couple minutes compared to my old 20-25, but the actual straightening and styling is going to take some practice! Weston is out of town and has yet to see me, and I am a little nervous since my brother-in-law told me that I "instantly lost my "hot" factor". (I take it that must mean I used to at least have a hot factor in his book) Compliment? not so much, but I will take it! Kallie also had a "nice" comment for me saying "it's a good thing your hair grows fast"! Oh well, it is just hair right? Nine inches will only take a year or two to grow back! As for me, one day into it, I think I probably look better with long hair but the change does feel good. Even if it was the easy change!