Unconventional Parenting

I came to a realization today..... I am so one of those mothers who would get kicked out of parenting classes, mothering support groups, any place where people seriously study the "art" of parenting. Ha Ha Ha this stuff makes me laugh myself silly when I imagine myself in one of the above mentioned situations. Many of you may be thinking to yourselves, "Yes you really would not fit in there, it is about time you realized" however let me humor you by telling you how this light of knowledge was shed on me today.

My dear sweet Cole whom I love very much can get irritating to say the least. He teases and torments his OLDER sister to the point of tears many many times a day. (She just came running into the office screaming and I hear him following saying "smell it, smell it, I am going to make you" apparently he is pretending or maybe not so much that he has toilet water on his hands) anyway you get the picture, he is 100% boy!! His younger brother also finds him very irritating and starts screaming the second he sees or hears him coming. This morning I was at the gym in the middle of my workout, the baby was laying on the floor playing (yes I realize he can get "germs" there, he can also develop a healthy immune system there!!) and having a great time. In comes Cole, he adores this baby! Seriously loves him more than anything except Cool Whip! He lays down by him and gets right in his face to start talking to him. Baby instantly starts screaming. I am instantly irritated because now my workout has been interrupted. Instead of "nicely having a chat" with the boy like conventional parents would and explaining to him that he can't get right in the baby's face, I choose to show him. I pinned that kid to the floor and got right in his face, I kissed and slobbered all over him and talked baby talk to him until I felt my point was made. Then I released him and got back on my treadmill.

(seriously doesn't that poor baby look scared and miserable?)

This was the moment when I realized that I am a crazy freak of a parent. Seriously if I could have captured the look on my friends' faces, I felt a little foolish and ashamed of myself, however a certain four year old boy left a certain baby alone for the rest of the hour. Mission accomplished!! I guess I won't judge you if you don't judge me:)!! I really doubt this method of parenting is taught anywhere! Maybe I should write a book titled "Unconventional Parenting For Unconventional Folks"

And now for documenting purposes while we are on this unconventional parenting topic; my kids usually play really well together. In fact just today I heard Cole say he wanted to marry Kallie because she was his best friend. (So cute!!) Then right after I heard him say that he was going to be a really good missionary so that he didn't get an ugly wife??? Whatever motivates him I guess! Anyway I am getting off on a tangent but this is my blog and I can do that! So this summer has been a bit different, we have been home a lot and the kids have started fighting a lot more. I really can't stand the fighting it just makes me crazy.

One particular day they had been warned and warned to quit fighting, no doin'. I finally pulled out the big guns, I tied those two little stinkers together with a rope by their belt loops!. Now don't go turning me into CPS just yet, they had a least a foot of rope in between them and it was not physically hurting them. I was pretty proud of myself, thinking they are going to be so miserable they will never fight again! Within 10 minutes they were giggling hysterically and thought this was the funnest game ever. I was feeling defeated a bit but realized that at least they weren't fighting and isn't that what I wanted?? After an hour or so they decided to go out and ride bikes, that was humorous to watch them attempt that. Then Kallie wanted to eat lunch outside and Cole inside, good thing I gave them a foot of leeway, as long as they sat real close to the door one could be in while the other was out. Genius kids really, they were not real thrilled about going to the grocery store this way though but realized that if they walked really close to each other and stuffed the excess rope in their pockets no one would notice. They did have plenty of fights and what not while being tied up, but they did learn to give to the other a bit and ended up getting along quite well. I untied them after about four hours when it was time for swimming lessons, they probably would have drown tied together in the water! I don't think they will ever forget this experience and all I have to do now when they start bickering is threaten to pull out the rope!